We are beings who live in uncertainty. We do not know what is there after that choice, as well as yet another open door, behind a barrier to overcome. We cross our path full of hopes and fears ... we try to avoid the first to continue to dream of the latter.
My biggest fear, ironically, are the ghosts. Ones that you cried, you have suffered for their absence, prayed for their return but then surely you left behind to get ahead in your path.
I had gone to Turin to work. Were several months since we returned. I had the opportunity to see some friends over the years had built their lives in this city. Some friendships need assiduous care to continue to flourish and be beautiful. Instead, the real ones, which often date back in high school, they are like the cacti, but you can not take much to hurt bygone era.
returned from a dinner with some friends. I decided to return on foot to enjoy the freshness of the evening and enjoy the city lighting. I wore one of those long dresses of dark blue velvet. I buy them because they are fantastically beautiful but then end up rarely wear them, I find them too elegant and never suited the occasion. Was nearly at my hotel when I took a road that crossed a small garden. The trees were full of the fruits of spring and the wind was moving just driving up the scent of life that makes our hearts beat and raise hormones. I was still thinking about the night when suddenly I saw him. He was sitting on a bench down the road that bisects the parquet floor. The arms holding up his head resting on the legs. He was crying. He was there physically but his head was elsewhere. He smoked but automatically, like a nervous tic. I froze. The anxiety began to move inside of me leaving me there, still, without the clarity of thinking and acting. Fear followed shortly thereafter. I trembled, feeling awfully ridiculous. I was powerless against the river of my uncontrollable emotions. Why me? Although calm was fragile, with no one beside me and in my heart a feeling buried alive years ago. He had not seen me but the only required his presence in my way for my help. In the dreams came back in my times of trouble but in reality the parties were reversed. I wish I had the strength and courage to meet my ghost, face it and finally go over. Go his assistance and help. Even the garden flowers contained the corpse of our love that can not die and find peace.
I was not ready for it. I was convinced that if there will be another time, I'll be stronger. From which they are cowardly bowed my face and went back on my feet. I circled widely believed to have passed unnoticed. I prefer to think of what could be rather than to suffer for what will happen. Someone else will run and not fearing that road will console his broken heart.
knock down another cigarette. The forces to do whatever I miss. The anger had made me walk around the city until you leave me on the bench in the garden left to itself. I leave you here suffering listening to my emotions and memories hurt scream when suddenly a noise wakes me up in heels. I look up and see her walk away. It seems an angel wearing that dress and long dark. I would call her, hug her, tell her how much I love her and how much I miss but I can not do it. I no longer exist for her, for her I'm dead.
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